Here's the Thing About Big Boobs

Big boobs aren't all they're cracked up to be. As a matter of fact, I really wish I didn't have them. I feel like I don't even know myself anymore. I look in the mirror and I see a stranger looking back. A really fat stranger. Half my clothes don't fit me anymore and I can't even afford to buy clothes that do fit. And when I think about it I don't really want to buy new clothes because that would just be accepting the fact that I've gained weight. I don't even know how it happened. No matter how hard I work out or eat right . I'm still just the fat girl....I used to wish that my boobs were bigger and now that I have them I wish I didn't. I wish that I could go back to just being the average sized girl with just regular boobs. Unfortunately I can't.
Back when I weighed 120 lbs I used to think I was the fattest girl in school. Now I would give anything to be size 6 and weighing 120 again.
What am I doing wrong?


This One's for Holly

I know these two very wonderful, great, deserving people. Their names are Nate and Holly. I remember the first time I met them almost three years ago and thinking "Wow, these are some of the nicest people I have ever met." And while these two people are being amazing and caring and loving to everyone around them it seems like life just keeps throwing dirt in their faces.
Nate and Holly have been trying to adopt for a really long time now and yet when something comes up it seems that it just ends up falling through. It breaks my heart that they don't have children because they would be some of the best parents this world has ever seen. If I didn't have such a great mom, I would want Holly as a mom. Holly is so fun and I love her.
If you believe in prayer, please pray for them. They deserve to be parents, to have a child to love and care for. I can't even pretend that I know how Holly feels, but I am saddened that this has been such a hard, grueling process for them.
Holly, Tyler and I are praying for you. We think about you often and we love you. I know this is just one small blog post, but I hope that in some way it helps.
(click here to read more about their story)


Help Me Save The World

Have you ever noticed that there are certain people that are so passionate about one specific thing and then they dedicate their whole life's work to saving that animal, or researching that science, or educating others on it? I'm starting to have that passion, but on a different level. I can't pick just one thing that I'm going to dedicate my whole life to. The more I learn about earth and nature and wildlife the more I want to do something to keep those things I love around.
Being from Utah, I have heard a lot of people say that climate change, a dying mother nature, and loss of wildlife are all just part of "the end of the world" or what my religion calls the second coming. Regardless of what it may or may not be a part of, I feel like I have a deeper understanding than the people around me. I believe that God put me on this earth to be a steward over nature, to take care of it and to protect it.
It's so unfortunate that having respect for nature has been lost. It's unfortunate that protecting the environment has become so politicized. And it's really unfortunate that the people in my church are so lazy that they don't recycle or do even the smallest things to help protect that which God has given us. There are even those people in my church who refuse to do things because they are afraid protecting the environment is "too liberal." It breaks my heart that they don't care. I believe that all of us will be held accountable for what we didn't do to protect the home that God gave to us.
Just some tips about protecting the environment for any of you conservative Mormon's out there:

  • Recycling won't turn you into a liberal or a Democrat, if you're really so concerned that people are going to start looking at you like one for doing the smart thing.
  • This planet and everything on it was given to us as a gift from our Heavenly Father. Yes, I know the second coming is nigh, but really, we can do a lot more to help keep this planet clean and healthy. You do remember that we have to live here after the second coming, right?
  • The Democrats don't have it all wrong. So stop hating so much. God and Jesus love the Democrats just as much as they love the Republicans.
  • And if you were wondering I did vote for Obama, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. He's human too and ALL human's make mistakes. Regardless of who became president most American's would be upset at what was happening. Maybe instead of focusing on all the "bad" things you think he's done as president why don't you try and see the good. For the position he's in and where the U.S. was when he was elected I personally think he's doing a pretty good job. I know Obama has done something for me when I still have health insurance from my dad's job after I got married and really that's a huge blessing in my life. 
Compared to the rest of Utah, I am a liberal, but to the rest of the world I am a conservative. But really, who cares? In the scheme of things God isn't going to ask me if I was Democrat or Republican, He's going to ask me if I did everything I could to live His gospel and I know protecting His other creations is part of living the gospel.


Out With the Old and In With the New

Out with the old and in with the new....this saying is usually associated with getting rid of those bad things in your life that you no longer need. It's a saying that goes with de-cluttering your life. It goes with wanting a change to occur, something that will make your life better. But lately, I've been associating this saying with changes that I really don't want or have realized that I didn't want. I'm not saying that change is bad, but sometimes it's disappointing. I'm really missing some of my high school friends. My new college friends are awesome, and I love them to death, but sometimes I wish I could see some of my old high school friends more often. So for the next few weeks I'm going to be dedicating some of my blog posts to an old friend and a new friend. Today I'm starting with Ameri and MaryAnn.


She was probably my first best friend in high school. We pretty much did everything together when we were Freshman. As we got older and moved up in high school we started to drift apart. We had different interests and we started hanging out with different crowds. We never stopped being friends, but sometimes I really miss doing things with her. She once planned a birthday party for me, and put a picture of us on the cake, it was super awesome. She got me involved in band and percussion, which is now a big part of my life. She was always nice to me, no matter what and I look up to her. She will always be one of my best friends.

My first best friend in college. We partied like none other. We laughed together, we cried together, and we got through some hard times together. Now I'm married and she's being super studious and we hardly ever see each other, but when we do hang out it's still a whole bunch of giggling and chocolate and talk of our future plans. I've blogged about MaryAnn in the past so if you want to read more about how amazing she is click here.